


There For Him.

by Lifeless_tonto



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defenders
Genre: Allura is alive ppl, Bisexual Lance, Canon Divergence, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gay Keith, I Am Still Salty, Lance is Bad at Feelings, M/M, PINING KEITH, Post Season 8, THEY DESERVE BETTTER, oblivious lance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26941042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lifeless_tonto/pseuds/Lifeless_tonto
Summary: “You do know that there is more to life—more to you—than Allura right?”Lance let out a hollow laugh and Keith winced. “I know that. It’s just that...Fuck Keith I love her so much.”“Then why’d you break up with her?”“Because she deserves better. Because she needs more than some fucking seventh wheel. Dammit Keith...who can love me? I don’t even love myself.”I love you, he thought. And you don’t love me. You love someone who doesn’t love you back. Not the way I do****Or the one where Lance realises who the person he needs is. Just not in the most ideal way.
Relationships: Hunk/Shay, Keith/Lance, Shiro/Adam, Veronica/Acxa, eventual Allura/Romelle - Relationship
Comments: 9
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ello...
> 
> This is literally the first fic I have ever posted so plsss don’t judge too harshly. Kinda still try a figure out how this works...
> 
> Btw may add more tags or change the rating...
> 
> Thanks❤️

Keith’s entire body ached, less from the whole saving the Universe fiasco and more because of the overwhelming horde of people waiting for them when they landed. He sighed, thinking back to how close Allura had been to stepping into the light. How close she had been from slipping from right in between their fingertips. He wouldn’t even know what would’ve happened if Honerva hadn’t stepped in saying that Allura didn’t deserve this. Didn’t know how Lance—

He’ll admit, that seeing Honerva walk into that bright light all by herself was a slight bit appalling to say the least, but she did owe the Universe and if that had to be her life in return for the millions of others in every other reality then so be it. He knew he sounded heartless but he couldn’t see any other way any of this could’ve been solved. 

He thumbed at the scar on his cheek, a habit he had picked up a few weeks ago, one he was definitely not proud of. He wondered what everyone else was doing right now. Pidge had mentioned spending some ‘girl time’ with Colleen before they left, saying that was the first thing she wanted to do when she got back. He hoped she had found a way to slip past the heavy crowd by now, and she definitely was small enough to slip through the air vents. Hunk was probably in the kitchen cooking up some sort of feast with his mother, the image in his head making him smile. Shiro was probably patching things up with Adam and Coran was definitely just exploring human culture with excitement.

And Lance was probably somewhere with Allura. He doesn’t seem to leave her side nowadays, his clinginess unrightfully getting to Keith’s nerve’s. He remembered the days when Lance would seek Keith out to confront him, to challenge him. The spark of competitiveness was the first thing that had cracked the previously hardened layer over his heart. That should’ve been his first sign.

_Love_. It was certainly over glorified more than anything else. Love was meant to be happy and light and giddy, was it not? Then why, every single time Lance touched Allura, every single time he looked at her with that _goddamn_ expression, did it feel as though a pinprick was placed into his heart.

He didn’t ponder on it, refused to. Thinking about it made everything hurt just a little bit more.

He sighed. And went to bed even though his watch ticked at 6:04pm.

  
  


****

Allura was moving to New Altea. To rule apparently.

They were all happy for her, supporting her. This was what she was born to do after all.

But Keith noticed the way the blue in Lance’s eyes dimmed a little bit. Saw how the bright sunshine smile that transformed, not only his lips and eyes, but his entire face faltered at the ends. And he couldn’t help but slightly hate the idea of Allura leaving. Not if it made Lance look like that.

After dinner, Lance had shown up at his temporary Garrison room. Keith knew what this was about before having to ask. _Typical_. Because _obviously_ Keith wanted to hear all about Lance’s relationship troubles, right?

“Do you think long distance would work out between us?”

“Do you love her?” he asked in return because apparently he lived to torture himself.

“Absolutely,” Lance replied and the confidence and lack of hesitation had hurt more than he would’ve liked to admit. It’s not like he had expected anything else. _So why did it hurt so much?_

“If you love her and she loves you then it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“How can you say that though?” Keith could see the doubt, the skepticism creeping into this blue, blue eyes clouding them with a vulnerable look that Keith never wanted to see in his face ever again. That itself was what made Keith slip what he said next.

“Because I know that if I was in love with someone I would do anything for them. I would kill, be killed and probably make ridiculously stupid decisions. And if I have to face a little distance to be with them, then so be it.”

Keith felt horrified and Lance looked awed. Keith couldn’t help but think that Lance’s expression would be completely different if he knew who he was talking about. Then a confused crease formed between Lance’s eyebrows. _Cute_ , he thought before he could stop himself.

“Are you in—?”

“Do you love Allura like that?” he interrupted, as soon as he got the gist of the question that was to come.

Keith relished the few seconds of hesitance in Lance’s words, disgustingly enjoyed the doubt in his tone. “Y-Yes?”

None of them mentioned how his tone raised up into a question near the end. No one mentioned the slight stutter in his words.

How could he when Lance walked out of his room looking so confident?

****

Being in love was _painful_.

Keith didn’t know whether the creators of all the world’s flanboyant love stories and songs ever actually experienced love, but Keith sure as hell didn’t feel _‘high from the feeling of the hands caressing his face’_ or _‘being happy as long as they were happy’,_ or whatever the hell Cienna was talking about at this point in the extremely trashy and stupidly addicting novel he was guiltily caught up in.

It’s been a couple of months and Allura had long since left for Altea with Coran and Keith couldn’t say that he was surprised by the team’s disbandment after that.

Hunk was working with Shay in making this intergalactical food-restaurant thing (honestly he would have to call Hunk up on that. He still had no clue what he was trying to accomplish) and Pidge was back in the Garrison recruiting pilots for when Voltron was to become deceased. Shiro was back to dating Adam (Keith felt guilty for being jealous of how it had worked out so well for them. He was happy for them, more than anyone else in fact. It just stung knowing everyone had their happy ending). And Lance, little to Keith’s surprise, was back at his family farm. _“To refind myself,”_ he had said.

And Keith. Well, Keith had nowhere to be. So he joined the Blade of Marmora on it’s rehab mission with Krolia. Surprisingly, Acxa, Ezor and Zethrid all seemed to be insistent on joining him. He remembered the loneliness he had felt when he first left for the Blade and had felt relieved to have recognisable faces close by.

Ezor and Zethrid were fine but they were inseparable and Keith sort of felt like a third wheeler intruding on random moments of affection. He didn’t know how Acxa did it.

Although, he got to know Acxa and he had found himself enjoying her company. At first, he would feel very uncomfortable around her, Lance’s voice constantly droning in his ear. _“Looks like someone’s actually found your mullet attractive, Samurai.”_

But then she turned out to find men just as attractive as he found women. Not only that, but they both apparently had a thing for blue eyes, sun kissed skin and specifically from the McClain family.

So, back to him reading about some Cienna girl and Jonas being sickeningly in love with each other but several obstacles keeping them apart. Mid confession scene, his transmitter started vibrating and he huffed out an annoyed sigh. Until he saw Lance’s name flashing on the screen and then he was fumbling with the phone-like device, answering almost immediately. _Pathetic_.

“Hello--?”

_“Keith, I--”_ Lance sounded tired and hoarse and in lack of better words horrible. _“Shit, I don’t even know why I called. Sorry for bothering--”_

“Lance what happened?”

A sharp inhale on the other side. _“I love her Keith._ I love her so fucking much.”

And then he was crying, sobbing into Keith’s ear. Keith felt something crack in his chest and distantly thought that it was his heart. The daze quickly gave way to a flood of anger, filling him to the brim in aggressive waves, so close to overflowing. He was glad but nevertheless surprised by how composed his voice was when he asked, “what did she do?”

Lance made a soft confused sound. _“Jesus fuck, Keith, she didn’t do anything. And that’s the problem. She doesn’t even have the time to_ fucking look at me!” He took a deep breath which sounded suspiciously like he was trying to calm himself. “ _When it comes to Allura...I can’t be who she needs. I can’t be someone who understands politics and knows how she feels under the pressure of ruling. I can’t support her the way she needs to be supported and she can’t return the favor. Because she’s always been sure of who she is and well I’ve-I’m still trying to figure myself out. Is it so wrong to think that she doesn’t love me as much as I love her?”_ He broke off, sounding choked. 

“What are you saying Lance?” Keith’s voice came out softer than he had anticipated.

_“I don’t think we can work out,”_ Lance said, voice soft but firm. _“We...just can’t be what the other needs.”_

Keith squashed down the disgusting feeling of hope swelling in his chest and asked, “you still love her though?”

_“I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”_

And that was that.

  
  


****

  
  


Keith heard through Hunk that Allura and Lance had ended things. 

He wasn’t all that surprised. He didn’t think anyone was. But he was slightly put off by how much _Allura_ seemed to be unsurprised by this. Unnerved maybe. 

It wasn’t long before he got a call from Veronica.

_“Hey, Keith.”_ She sounded tired and worn down, as if something had been sucking the energy right from her bones. _“I know you’re probably busy with...your Galra ninja’s or whatever, I mean Acxa told me as much. But I really need a favor.”_

Keith mulled it over, cursing his inability to say no. “Well, like Acxa said, we are quite busy. I mean--”

_“It’s about Lance. He’s acting like some fucking ghost just walkingaround the farm and he doesn’t laugh like he used to and he won’t fucking_ talk to anyone about it--”

“Be there in a few Quintent.”

  
  


****

He’s never had much of the pleasure of visiting the McClain family farm until now and he was pleasantly surprised by the hominess. Despite the subtle scent of manure, he found the air rather refreshing after being entrapped in a ship for so long. Kosmo was already very excitedly prancing in the sunlight, that was pleasantly warming the back of his neck.

Two small children were barrelling their way uphill, towards him and were tackling him to the ground before he had an opportunity to react.

“Are you _Tio_ Keith?”

_“Tia_ Veronica said you would be coming!”

“Is that your space puppy? He’s so big and fluffy!”

He supposed that excessive talking was a shared trait between the McClains. He scrambled to sit up and was met with two pairs of large blue eyes and hair, slightly darker than Lance’s. 

_“Oi_ , stop smothering him you two!”

They both groaned, reluctantly renouncing their previous spot on Keith’s chest. Keith stood up, brushing off the grass that had ended up sticking to his jeans and jacket. He looked up to see his saviour and found himself eye to eye, with Lance’s twin sister Rachel. She smiled at him pleasantly before scolding the children about manners or whatnot. 

Then she turned to him, tone significantly softer. “Sorry about Nadia and Sylvio, they can get very... _excited_ about meeting new people.”

He chuckled good naturedly. “No, it’s fine. I mean I guess I should have expected it.”

She threw her head back and laughed and Keith was suddenly struck by the resemblance between the two twins. “I suppose I’ll invite you inside then. C’mon.”

He willingly followed her through a twisted path leading to the entrance. As soon as the door was swung open he was overwhelmed by the amount of ruckus going on inside. Several Lance look-alikes were walking around complaining or babbling about one thing or another. A year ago this would have bothered him immensely but now he felt strangely relieved. After months with the Blade he supposed that this much sound became welcomed sooner or later.

“I swear, it isn’t usually this noisy. It’s just that Marco decided to visit with his family today so it’s _kiiinda_ crowded.”

Keith couldn’t really say anything to that but laugh it off.

Then, he was abruptly being pulled away from Rachel and was face to face with a petite woman with warm brown eyes. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail that had probably been very tight and secure only to loosen throughout the stress of the day. Her hair was graying at the temples but Keith found the smile on her face made her look considerably younger. 

“You must be Keith!” she said, her voice warm and excited as if having him here was the best thing that could have happened to her. _“Dios mio_ , you must be exhausted. You wait here and I’ll call Leandro to escort you.” She was turning back and Keith almost jumped at how high her voice could get, all softness gone in a second. _“¡Leandro, ven aquí, tenemos un invitado!”_

_“Ya voy mamá. ¡Se paciente!”_

Keith’s pulse jumped at his voice and he was taken aback when Lance came down the stairs, looking…

His hair had grown out to be slightly more disheveled but it somehow still looked attractive as hell. His arms were left exposed giving way to an impressive view of lean muscle. His freckles were far more prominent no doubt due to the exposure to the blistering rays of the Cuban sun. Although, Keith also felt slightly nauseous at the sight of dark circles surrounding his eyes and the blue fire in his eyes were reduced to a small spark. He just looked _tired_. The same way Veronica sounded tired through the call. The same way Keith would often lay in bed and stare at the roof and think if there was ever going to be anything else in life than just this.

Lance’s eyes widened when their eyes met and they stared at each other for a few seconds that felt like a whole lifetime all at once. A flurry of emotions passed through his eyes, all of them passing through before Keith could pinpoint any of them, until they all stilled into a careful blankness. 

Lance was walking up to him, expression void of emotions and Keith opened his mouth to say something, _anything_ but then Lance was shoving his way past him towards the front door.

And broke into a run.

  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk (NOT REALLY) and PTSD is hard..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: BRIEF NON-CON...IF YOU'RE NOT INTO THAT STOP AT "But Rachel and Veronica..." AND START AGAIN AT "...Lance was on his knees now"  
> (IT'S ONLY PART OF HIS DREAM SO DON'T FREAK OUT TOO MUCH)
> 
> Soo....here I am...after a month...hehehe
> 
> Hope you enjoy...?

Lance’s lungs burned with the thirst for air and his legs were cramping with fatigue but he refused to stop because  _ Keith was here.  _ Keith was here tall, handsome and proud. Keith was here, leaving his busy schedule to see Lance. Keith was here because he felt  _ pity.  _ Well, no sir, not today because Lance Alvarez McClain  _ refused  _ to be pitied despite the absolute pitiful state he was in.

He eventually stumbled from exertion and his hand rested on the trunk of The Tree to steady himself. His back found the hard bark of the tree, the cloth of his shirt catching on the branches as he slid down. Everything was a lot more...tranquil here, he found. He remembered his most precious memories near this place.

The Tree had been the first place Lance had taken Allura out to. The place he had first confessed his love to her. The place he had first kissed her. It all came in a rush of events, like a broken cassette tape. Nostalgia was something he wasn’t used to feeling here. But he supposed heartbreak wasn’t a norm either, so this had to be another exception.

He...He also remembered the small talk Keith had given him before his date.  _ “...the Lance who’s the paladin of the Red Lion, the Lance who’s always got my back and the Lance who knows who he is and what he’s got to offer,”  _ and despite the inner turmoil beating against his ribs, in time with the staccato of his heart, the corners of his mouth ticked up in a fond not-quite smile.

He knew he was being stupid, because Keith would never downright  _ pity  _ someone. Sympathy maybe but never pity. And Lance had always known that, he realised in surprise which quickly gave way to confusion. If that wasn’t the reason for his abrupt fleeing then what was?

He knew the answer before he even finished his last thought.

_ It’s because I don’t want him to be disappointed in me. “The Lance who knows who he is” my ass. Maybe he finally realises who the real me is. Finally sees the unlovable  _ freak  _ that I am-- _

He quickly cut those thoughts off. Nope. He was  _ not  _ doing this again.

He heard the sound of boots hitting the soft dirt path and Lance’s spine cracked from the speed he straightened it. “Keith, I’m--” 

“S’not Keith.” 

He slowly turned his head to see Rachel with an unimpressed expression twisting her features.  Lance quelled the slight disappointment in his chest before he could question it. “Hey Rache.”

“Do I really need to pry these answers out of you Lance?”

“I mean…”

She sighs, before slumping down next to him. “C’mon. Tell your big sister what’s bothering you.”

“By  _ 23 minutes!” _

“Still the baby,” she says with a small smirk tugging at the edge of her lips before twisting into a frown at his lack of retaliation. She leaned into him, resting her head atop his shoulder even as he tried to shrug her off. “C’mon, tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s stupid.”

“It’s not if it’s bothering you.”

“Still…”

“Your  _ familia  _ loves you, so stop being such a pussy and spill.”

Lance could tell when his twins patience was running thin and he knew he was toeing the line before she does something stupid which usually consited of figuring out the truth with a bonus of embarrassing him profusely. So he does what she says.

He tells her about his and Allura’s less than fulfilling breakup, of his insecurities, of how the war still scared him till this day. Of how nightmares still plagued his mind in the midst of sleep, waking up almost every night with the image of the broken bodies of his team and family still raw behind his eyelids.

Of how Keith’s presence brought back all those memories, of all those several heartbreaks. Of how familiar faces like Keith’s made him feel ecstatic and restless all at once.

After he was done, tension pulled tight in the air. He watched Rachel’s mouth open and close several times before she relaxed beside him. All the years before the war, he and Rachel had known what the other was thinking, what the other was feeling before one even had to ask. The knowledge that his sister could not comprehend his predicament was another cruel reminder on how much everything had changed. On how much  _ he  _ had changed.

“Listen,  _ hermanito,” _ She said, the endearment rolling smoothly off her tongue, “I can’t pretend to understand your problems, nor can I be the shoulder you need to cry on.” Her eyes softened as she delivered the next blow, “the person you need the most right now is probably waiting for you thinking what the hell he did wrong.”

He jolted at that. _ ”Shit.  _ I - I just  _ ran off.” _

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. We all saw.”

“And just  _ left him there.” _

“Mm-hm…”

“I am such a horrible friend,” he bemoaned.

Rachel laughed brightly, before shoving his shoulder towards the house. “Yeah, well get over there, if you want to fix that. He’s still waiting you know.”

He grinned at her, a weight lifted from his chest, making it easier to breathe. Maybe it was a microscopic amount of difference removed yet it still made him feel as though he had crossed a milestone. He got up, brushing away the stray pieces of grass and tree bark clinging to his clothes, before taking his first few steps towards healing.

He supposed it was time to talk about this to someone and if that someone was Keith then so be it. This, he decided, would be his ointment to rub over his wounds until heartbreak was nothing but a scar marring the surface of his feelings, which were now surrounded by walls built stronger than ever before.

  
  


****

When Lance was finally face to face with Keith, the first thing he noticed were the few inches the other man had gained on him, so much so that Lance was quite certain that the top of his head only reached Keith’s temple. A white shirt was stretched thin against the expanse of his chest and the look in those violet-indigo eyes were burning liquid mercury into his bloodstream.

He was quickly pulled into an abrupt warmth and the faint smell of spicy cologne. A breathy noise left his lips as he returned the gesture, grip more confident and practiced than the other. He had an absurd urge to laugh at the sudden affection.

“Eager aren’t we?” he teased. “Missed me that much, Mulletman?” Keith mumbled something incoherent into the croom of his neck, the movement of his lips burning hot into his skin. “Sorry, what was that?”

“Said it’s not a mullet,” he huffed and Lance laughed, months of pent up weight bubbling out in waves of giggles that boarderlined hysterics. He looked up through chortles and the blur to barely see the soft smile gracing Keith’s features, all his sharp angles soften along with. He looked much younger like that.  _ He should do that more often,  _ he thought, vaguely.

Lance took in all the new lines formed around his companions face and frowned slightly.  _ They better be treating him right,  _ he thought with a small pout. He was pleasantly surprised on how the scar on his cheek had healed considerably, from a fleshy pink to a light, almost white blemish. Without thinking he thumbed it lightly--

Before Keith was pulling away, as if he had been burned. His face was adorned a deep red, a gloved hand covering his mouth as he refused to look at him. Lance stood in confusion, his arms awkwardly spread out in front of him. He quickly dropped his arms, suddenly feeling very out of place.

He awkwardly cleared his throat, poorly attempting to clear the tense air around them. He opened his mouth to say something, but was quickly tackled to the ground by a very large body, fur flying into his mouth in the process. He laughed at the sudden intrusion, partly relieved by it. He petted Kosmo on the head, the wolf giving Lance’s hand an affectionate nuzzle.

“Kosmo!” Keith reprimanded, because he’s no fun, “stop smothering him!”

Kosmo gave an unimpressed little whimper, giving her master a complainative whine. Keith levelled her with a firm look before Kosmo was stepping off of Lance in a reluctant fashion. 

Keith sighed, sounding weary, the blush already dying from his face. Lance hated to say that he already missed it. “Sorry about that.”

“Hey, don’t worry man, not your fault she loves me so much,” he said, flashing him a small grin, while rocking on the heels of his feet. “I mean we all know who her favourite really is.” Keith rolled his eyes.

“I take it back,” he deadpanned, “smother him all you want. Suffocate him for all I care.” Then he turned his heel, walking away from Lance to who knows where.

“Dude where are you going?”

At that Keith froze, his body seizing up. He slowly turned around a bashful look painting his expression. “To the bathroom…”

“Which is…?” Lance said, trying to hide the amusement from his voice.

“...Somewhere…”

“My, my Mullet. Do you need  _ my  _ assistance for something?” he teased, dramatically placing a hand over his chest.

“Don’t be an ass,” Keith grumbled, a small pout pulling at his lips, although his eyes shone with mirth. “Besides, I’m sure I can ask your mom or one of your many siblings--”

“Nope,” he interrupted, putting a finger up to silence his friend. “I am not giving  _ any  _ of them the opportunity to expose all my humiliating childhood disasters to you, of all people.”

“Well, Clara already showed me your baby photos,” Keith said, with a teasing sparkle in his eye. Lance momentarily cursed his mother.

He hoped she hadn’t told Keith about anything else, like his embarrassing coming out at the age of fifteen or his declaration of love to his kindergarten teacher, only for him to be sent away with a kind laugh. He cried for a straight three hours (five year old Lance was incredibly smitten, thank you very much).

“--very cute.”

Lance blinked at him blankly. “I’m sorry what?”

“You’re very cute.”

He took a few seconds to process it, before his face was burning, his mouth gaping open and an odd feeling was dancing along his stomach. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant. 

Lance saw the moment Keith understood what he had just said, and his eyes were dilating and his pale complexion was not doing any favors for the abrupt blush spreading across his face to the tips of his ears. “I-I mean you  _ were  _ very cute! Not  _ now  _ obviously, I mean all babies are cute, not that you aren’t cute  _ now, it’s just--” _

Lance laughed, bending over. “Dude, I get it. Man, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you ramble. Like,  _ ever.” _

He calmed down after a few seconds before beckoning Keith over to the bathroom. “Anyways, refresh or whatever and come and meet me near Kalternecker.”

Keith gave a curt nod, moving his way to the bathroom only to be momentarily blocked by Lance. “What--?”

“You think I’m cute?” he said, with a smug smirk and suggestive eyebrow wiggle. He got a groan in reply and was unceremoniously shoved out of the way.

And even as Keith came back after fifteen minutes or so, to meet up with him Lance realised that his lips were still stretched wide into a grin.

  
  


****

  
  


_ Breathing was getting difficult as broken bodies of unnamed faces were piled around him. His gun hung loosely in his hand, his shooting finger twitching around the trigger. He walked the ashes of several different bodies, the cries of children ringing violently in his ears. He breathed in ash and smoke, the amalgamation drowning his lungs, making his breathing fade into unsteady wheezes. He momentarily wondered where his helmet was, before the faceless bodies were suddenly morphing into bodies of people he knew.  _

_ The first body to shape was Lisa’s, his sister in-law’s face pale and eyes glassy and unblinking. Next to her was her husband, his  _ brother,  _ Marco. His brother’s body was scratched up and Lance was horrified to find the right side of his face burned off, until there was only pink flesh and something that was no longer an eye. _

_ Nadia and Sylvio were bent over the bodies, their cries punching into his body violently. He wanted to reach out to them, to touch them, to hold them and beg for this nightmare to be gone. He raised his arm to touch one of their shoulders, only for Nadia’s gaze to turn to him, her eyes - so similar to his own - pierced into him. “You failed,” she whimpered, before her voice hardened. “I  _ hate  _ you.” _

_ They faded out and Lance wanted to scream out, wanted to explain. But then Rachel and Veronica were suddenly in his line of vision, of his sisters being mauled, being -  _ touched  _ by Galra hands. Their clothes hung loosely in shreds off their bodies as they screamed and screamed and screamed, while Galran hands roamed and slapped and fucking  _ tore  _ their bodies bit by bit in the most brutal, filthy way. They both looked directly at him. _

Help me,  _ their eyes said, as their humanity was being ripped away from them. _

Help me,  _ their eyes said as teeth buried themselves into the flesh of their necks. _

Please, please help me,  _ their eyes said as hands closed around their throats, blocking off any other screams that were to be torn from their throats. _

_ He was ready to scream, to fucking rip off those hands from them but than he was suddenly in front of the tortured and raped body of his mother, the body of his father which now lacked any legs or arms. Of Luis and all his organs pulled out from his stomach. _

_ Lance was on his knees now, not being able to move, to help. _

Pleasestoppleasestoppleasestop--

_ Pidge was there, a large gaping whole in her abdomen. Hunk was there, sickly thin from malnutrition and on the verge of death, Shiro was missing his prosthetic, his throat slit. _

_ Allura was there, quintessence torn from her body, left to die a lonely unhonorable death, her body beaten and bruised. Lance was trying to lunge at her, to pull out of this paralysis he was held captive in.  _

_ Then there was Keith. Keith who was still breathing but barely, Keith whose body was broken and beaten, bent in ways that shouldn’t be possible. Deep cuts were decorating his body and a lifeless smirk caught on his lips. _

_ “S’pose I was wrong about you, Cargo Pilot,” he rasped. “Guess you really are a no good seventh wheel after all. Couldn’t save the people you love.” _

_ And then suddenly an axe was coming down and Lance was screaming Keith’s name through tears and too many voices were calling to him-- _

_ “Lance…” _

_ “Lance…!” _

“Lance!”

Lance jolted up, his nightgown sticking uncomfortably to his back with sweat. His face was sticky with sweat and tears. A solid figure loomed over him and he instinctively jabbed his elbow against the person’s stomach. A small grunt ws audible through his frenzy to get out of here, to get out of this strangers grasp, but then his wrists were grabbed and pinned to the side of his head, putting an end to all his writhing. 

A smoldering gaze was looking down on him, violet eyes luminescent in the dark room. As his eyes adjusted he was able to make out sharp features, familiar features. 

“Lance, it’s me Keith Kogane. I am an ex Paladin of Voltron just like you. You are on your family farm, in your room. Rachel and Veronica are asleep in the room next to yours and your mom, dad and brothers are sleeping down stairs.” 

Lance’s breathing was steadying although panic was still there. What if this was a lie? A deception? 

“Can you count the glowy stars on your roof for me? How many are there?”

_ One, two, three... _ his breathing slowed and so did the staccato of his heart. The room was far less congested and he felt like the pressure on his chest was slowly ceasing. He looked back into starlight eyes, and briefly thought that it was the most beautiful pair of eyes he had ever seen. 

“Twenty three,” he breathed, voice hoarse and throat raw.

A small smile graced Keith’s lips and his eyes crinkled at the edges. “That’s right. It's alright.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, in a small voice, shame slowly eating away at his insides. How embarrassing really. 

Keith’s eyes suddenly hardened. “You have nothing to apologise for. Everyone has nightmares once and awhile, it’s pretty normal seeing what we went through.”

“You don’t…” he sniffed, feeling awfully small and helpless. He hated it.

“Oh no, I definitely do,” he retaliates, a knowing gleam in his eyes. 

“Atleast, you don’t start screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night.”

Another soft smile. “Just practice. Gotten good at hiding it.”

Lance didn’t pry about that.

Keith made a move to get up and Lance realised that he was leaving, with a panicked jolt in his belly. He grabbed the hem of Keith’s black muscle shirt and tugged on it to stop him from leaving. “Stay.”

“What?”

“Please stay. It helps, sleeping with someone. Especially, if they understand. Please. I need you.” He knew that he was practically begging by now, but he hasn’t felt desperation like this in a while, his clingy nature shining through in moments like this.

A strong blush appeared high on Keith’s cheekbones, in which Lance’s sluggish brain was too tired to comprehend. It would probably lead to more confusion anyway.

Keith sighed defeatedly and slid beside Lance underneath the sheets, seeming to want to keep a friendly distance between them but Lance was immediately pulling him in, burying himself next to a solid warm body, his own shaking. 

A soothing hand raked through his short hair and Lance sighed, while relaxing - no - practically  _ melting  _ into it.

And he thinks he may have felt a soft press of lips to his forehead but he was too tired to question it, so he bumps it up to be a part of his imagination. Maybe another dream.

Lance decides he rather likes dreams if they’re like this, before drifting off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rly hope you enjoy this chap...sorry I coundn't fit in my promise of 'jealous Lance' but I think there still may be a few more chaps before that happens cuz I think addressing PTSD after war cuz nothing is sunshines and daisies after shit like that..
> 
> Small spoiler btw...Jealous Lance is kinda a major part of this story...as well as smth involving Keith and fake dating and some OC...
> 
> Hope u have a good day!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading...whoever actually did!
> 
> I might post another chapter for this fic and lemme tell you that if you like—ehm—jealous Lance you should probably stick around~
> 
> 💕💕


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